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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:26 am Post subject: trapped in the closet (a midget...a midget...a midget...) |
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i have to recommend this r kelly hip-hopera for a number of reasons.
1) commentary from the star himself (with a cigar and an easy chair)
2) he scratches his head with a gun a lot
3) the closet is both literal and metaphorical
4) you will lose all faith in humanity
5) faith is overrated
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_closet _________________
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:36 am Post subject: |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:36 am Post subject: |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:37 am Post subject: |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:37 am Post subject: |
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Swimmy .
Joined: 16 Sep 2005 Posts: 990 Location: Fairfax, VA
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:42 am Post subject: |
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I really loved that one performance he did where he was lip syncing, but only the characters' lines, not any of the words in between. And the pretend kiss at the end was just awkward as hell. |
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B coma .
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 279
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:49 am Post subject: |
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Now that dhex has set the tone I'd like to recommend that everyone see the Metallica documentary Some Kind of Monster. The context here is that it's based on their St Anger album, which has to be one of the most poorly written and produced albums in hard rock history. Sorry if anyone takes offense; I actually like some Metallica stuff okay but I still think any fans who like this are phoolin' themselves. Anyway, some high points of the film:
1. Record executive, sounding like one of the guys in Negtivland if, that means anything:
"Well, we can just go ahead and consider June 5th to be 'St Anger's day' !!!"
2. Hetfield, paraphrase in an argument about songwriting:
"Stock guitar riff!? Well you're just saying things to get your point across, and that doesn't hold any water!"
3. At on point Kirk Hammet wears an open pink long sleeved shirt while being interviewed, on his ranch.
4. Kirk Hammet and other band members argue, paraphrase:
band - "Kirk, that guitar solo was a little weak, cut the whole thing out, solos are going to make our music sound dated anyway."
Kirk - "no guitar solos? but.. if we don't have solos, then our music just going to end up sounding dated a couple of years down the line - we'd be dating it for today!"
band - "go to hell!"
5. Pretty much every group therapy scene.
It's the most amazing music documentary I've ever seen, especially in how much it explains about this period in the band's existence. |
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Scratchmonkey .
Joined: 02 Mar 2005 Posts: 1439
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Mister Toups Hates your favorite videogame
Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 1693 Location: Lafayette, LA
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 6:39 am Post subject: |
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SHE STILL LIES TRAPPED WITHIN THE CLOSET... _________________ where were you when nana komatsu got a wii? |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 8:35 am Post subject: |
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something awful gives a remarkably pithy summary of the film.
witty, even. _________________
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SuperWes Updated the banners, but not his title
Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 3725
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 9:55 am Post subject: |
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dhex wrote: | something awful gives a remarkably pithy summary of the film. |
This is my favorite line from the questions at the end of their summary:
Quote: | 3. If Sylvester is narrating the story in first person, why does he sometimes refer to himself as Sylvester? Also, why does he have knowledge of conversations that happened when he wasn’t present? |
-Wes _________________
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Scratchmonkey .
Joined: 02 Mar 2005 Posts: 1439
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:03 pm Post subject: |
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dhex wrote: | something awful gives a remarkably pithy summary of the film.
witty, even. |
"Dr. Thorpe" is probably the best writer on SA. All of the "Your Band Sucks" columns have been pretty entertaining and the Fashion SWATs might be the flat-out funniest articles on the entire site. |
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sawtooth .
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 419
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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Your band sucks is excellently awesome.
Anyone see his appearance on Attack of the Show? He was wearing a Diplomats T-shirt |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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Lackey .
Joined: 11 Jul 2005 Posts: 1107 Location: Canada
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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I have a really deep respect for people who take terrible ideas and execute them with such thoroughness and enthusiasm. Although that doesn't apply to everything, nor does it necessarily make the results of their effort worthwhile.
At this point he has to be aware of how insane the thing seems to, you know, the rest of the world. _________________ | Little bird fighting against a bat sect game | |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 10:38 am Post subject: |
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judging from the commentary section, i don't really think he does. _________________
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sawtooth .
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 419
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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So we basically have another Michael Jackson in training? excellent |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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the weird thing about kelly is that when the whole pissing on the underage and taping it thing dropped, every single hip hop dj, wannabe producer, etc involved in new york city radio had a copy of the tape within two weeks. they'd bring that shit over to my friend's studio at the time and say "hey, watch this fucked up shit!" (on a 15 foot projector screen)
had kelly been fucking men who were of age, pissing or not, his career would be over right now. and you can be those tapes would not have been passed around like the hilarious highlight reel. it would have been treated like this whole pissing on little girls thing should have been treated. _________________
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sawtooth .
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 419
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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what the hell?
I never followed the case closely, seeing as I neither like R. Kelly or R&B in general, but I was under the impression that the debate was whether the tape even existed. |
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GSL .
Joined: 16 Nov 2005 Posts: 725 Location: Mr. Lee's Greater Hong Kong
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:35 am Post subject: |
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sawtooth wrote: | So we basically have another Michael Jackson in training? excellent |
How dare you, sir! Despite the lawsuits, the plastic surgery, Bubbles the chimp, and the Elephant Man's skeleton, Michael Jackson remains a far greater entertainer than R. Kelly could ever hope to be!
Actually, I take one thing back: owning your own monkey would be pretty cool. |
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sawtooth .
Joined: 02 Nov 2005 Posts: 419
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 2:41 am Post subject: |
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probably not. I saw a woman who had a monkey once. It was at a Culvers (best burgers in Wisconsin, I shit you not). It was a humid, very overcast day, threatening to rain. The lady was kind of dumpy. the monkey had diapers on; she fed it milk from a bottle. It was a baby monkey. I felt sorry for it. |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:49 am Post subject: |
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the tape exists. _________________
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TheRumblefish .
Joined: 29 Jan 2006 Posts: 258 Location: Florida
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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sawtooth wrote: | probably not. I saw a woman who had a monkey once. It was at a Culvers (best burgers in Wisconsin, I shit you not). It was a humid, very overcast day, threatening to rain. The lady was kind of dumpy. the monkey had diapers on; she fed it milk from a bottle. It was a baby monkey. I felt sorry for it. |
Besides my Dad going up to Wisconsin and telling me how much I would like some of the burger places there, your short story has left me depressed. I just pictured this small infant monkey, cloudy skys above his head, his diapers faded and torn, and his sould suffering in an abyss of pain.
I'm sure it wasn't that bad and in the end I'm just over-dramatizing. Still I feel for that little monkey for some reason. _________________
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Mr. Mechanical Friendly Stranger
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 1276
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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The only reason anyone should ever own a monkey (aside from using it as a sort of helper like some people do) is so they can teach it how to smoke. Smoking monkeys are awesome. |
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Dracko .
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 2613
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Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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I only just got round to checking these things out.
On a very basic, primal level, it insults every single level of my intelligence it makes me want to shoot every screenwriter, singer and the urbanly hip for simply allowing this to happen. Everyone is at fault.
Then, after careful, glib thought, this ode to solipstic golden showers is a brilliant and careful insight into the minds of degenerate morons I encounter on a daily basis. You know, the people who like this thing without a single hint of irony, asking that essential question (Fuck you, Camus) "Aren't we all just trapped in our own closets?". It takes bad cult hits to a whole new level.
Nice to visit, in so far as I managed to do away with my intolerance for rampant idiocy, but I sure as Hell wouldn't want to live there. _________________ "This is the most fun I've ever had without being drenched in the blood of my enemies!" |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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no one actually takes this seriously except r. kelly. trust me. everyone else in the industry thinks it's a hilarious swan song of a mind that's already going, going gone. _________________
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nICO .
Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 120 Location: WVUSA
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Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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Do you think R Kelly even takes this seriously? It's so over the top and ridiculous.
And undeniably awesome.
The stuff he does is almost too bizarre and brilliant to be done by someone taking himself too seriously.
Like that Sex In the Kitchen remix:
r kelly wrote: | Im just trying to give y'all this music, make y'all feel good, you know what I'm saying. That's all I'm trying to do. Let me do that, let the R do that, will ya? |
Followed by one of the strangest songs of his career:
r kelly wrote: |
Here we are, in this kitchen, kitchen
Sexin' each other from feet to head
Now, some folks may raise the question
"Why can't they just get a bed?"
Yeah, there ain't nothin' wrong
With us in the kitchen gettin' it on, no
Girl, it's like five hundred degrees and here we are
By the cabinet do's, by the stove
Hot buttered rolls on your tippy-toes
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At least some of Trapped in the Closet is on Youtube if anyone hasn't seen it yet. _________________ Brauner: Damn you, humans... You selfishly start wars and despoil the earth. Perhaps justice wasn't on my side but I will never admit that it was on yours. |
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mechanoriINtransit .
Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Posts: 33
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:06 am Post subject: |
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A couple of friends and I were watching this on TV, and R. Kelly was commenting on it during commercial breaks. It was amazing how seriously he took it. He was really impressed with everyone's acting, apparently. |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:12 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | Do you think R Kelly even takes this seriously? |
sadly the answer to that is very much a yes. i met a woman whose cousin is "big man" and apparently kelly has no idea that people think his hiphopera is hiplarious. _________________
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Dracko .
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 2613
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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dhex wrote: | no one actually takes this seriously except r. kelly. trust me. everyone else in the industry thinks it's a hilarious swan song of a mind that's already going, going gone. |
I can assure you, there are people who do take this stuff seriously, and truly do believe that relationships between normal-sized people and midgets qualify as "twisted". _________________ "This is the most fun I've ever had without being drenched in the blood of my enemies!" |
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nICO .
Joined: 19 Feb 2005 Posts: 120 Location: WVUSA
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Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:03 am Post subject: |
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Keep in mind the midget has got it where it counts.
Has there been word on when the next set of chapters are coming out?
I watched a Youtube earlier today called Trapped in the Drawer or something. It was done with Batman and other various toys. Pretty funny for what it was... Though I like stupid shit like that. _________________ Brauner: Damn you, humans... You selfishly start wars and despoil the earth. Perhaps justice wasn't on my side but I will never admit that it was on yours. |
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Lackey .
Joined: 11 Jul 2005 Posts: 1107 Location: Canada
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 11:38 am Post subject: |
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and offensive. _________________
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helicopterp .
Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 1435 Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know when the next ones are coming out, but there will be 32 in total (if we can believe R.)
True/False: Tron is the best Trapped in the Closet character. _________________ Like you thought you'd seen copter perverts before. They were nothing compared to this one. |
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Lackey .
Joined: 11 Jul 2005 Posts: 1107 Location: Canada
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Mister Toups Hates your favorite videogame
Joined: 26 Jan 2005 Posts: 1693 Location: Lafayette, LA
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 8:29 am Post subject: |
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dhex wrote: | the tape exists. |
torrents pls _________________ where were you when nana komatsu got a wii? |
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