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FortNinety Pheonix Wright
Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Posts: 250 Location: NY, NY
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:18 am Post subject: So, What Are The Worst Games Of All Time? Yes, I Know.... |
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... I made this topic over at SelectButton. And also, a list thread (I forget what the stance on them is around here). But first, time for a personal plug:
As some folks know, ICON, the northeast's biggest fantasy and science fiction (and science fact) convention, which takes places in Stony Brook, Long Island, New York, takes place this upcoming weekend, and once again, I will be a guest on the behalf of the electronic gaming program. I'll be participating at the following panels...
Videogames as an Art Form
Indy Game Development
Ratings and Censorship in Modern Media
Video Game Journalism
NextGen Consoles: Where do we go next?
To 3D or Not to 3D
Nintendo's Interface Revolution
Flamewars and Trolls
I might also be part of the Girl Gamers discussion, simply because my girlfriend doesn't want to be up there all my herself.
In addition to the aforementioned topics, I'm also going to get a full hour to talk about whatever. Last year I did the ten best games of all time, with the definite highlight being when I asked the audience for their favorite and/or the best, and all the booes I got when I would shoot down certain selections (as well as omitting fan faves in my list). Hence why year I'm doing the ten WORST games of all time, but instead of bashing games that everyone can agree is shit (I'm even going to mention a few that everything THINKS is bad, but really isn't, such as E.T. for the 2600), I kinda want to elicit even more venom from the audience by poking fun at ones that has its dedicated fans but, at its core, is really crappy. That's where you, the fine folks at Select Button come in.... after-all, everyone here hates everything that's popular! And often for good reason!
I know its a very NeoGAF-ish question (hence why I've also asked over there as well!) but as I assemble my own list, I'd like to hear what the folks around here believe to be the worst games of all time. You folks know my criteria, but I still want to hear what you honestly think it bad, regardless of how much love it gets, and exact reasons why.
Also, if anyone wants me to mention any good recent threads/anecdotes from at the Axe for the Flamewars and Trolls panel, it would also be very much appreciated. |
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:47 am Post subject: |
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grandia II - final fantasy x is tedious, but granda 2 is the god of hate.
fort, guess what? i have to go to a wedding this weekend so i wouldn't have been able to go to icon regardless of the rest of my shit. _________________
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FortNinety Pheonix Wright
Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Posts: 250 Location: NY, NY
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:36 am Post subject: |
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Damn... there's always next year I guess.
BTW, I just found out that Costikyan is a lock for the show as well. So along with myself, Greg, and David Gilbert, much fun will be had. Though I have to wonder whoes side they will take when I start slinging mud at Final Fantasy fans and furries. |
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wourme .
Joined: 01 Jul 2005 Posts: 362 Location: Maridia
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:51 am Post subject: |
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I don't think it has any fans, but the first thing that comes to my mind is the home version of Hologram Time Traveler--the one that plays on any DVD player, insofar as you can play it at all.
I can think of plenty of popular games that I don't like in the least, but none that I'd consign to a list of worst games ever.
E.T. was one of my favorite 2600 games. I didn't learn that I wasn't supposed to like it until many years later. I've had that experience with some other games as well. |
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Nana Komatsu weak sauce
Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Posts: 1293
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helicopterp .
Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 1435 Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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Jet Force Gemini
any of the portable Castlevania games
Yoshi's Island 2
I hate all those games way more than is necessary. _________________ Like you thought you'd seen copter perverts before. They were nothing compared to this one. |
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Shapermc Hot Sake!
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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Sigma Star Saga. _________________ “The average man has a secret desire to be a swaggering, drunken, fighting, raping swashbuckler.”
-Robert E. Howard in a letter to a friend circa Decmber 1932
"There is no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist!" |
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Winged Assassins (1984) .
Joined: 28 Nov 2006 Posts: 996 Location: Super Magic Drive
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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Anything with unnecessary backtracking. _________________
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Shapermc Hot Sake!
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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Wind Waker? _________________ “The average man has a secret desire to be a swaggering, drunken, fighting, raping swashbuckler.”
-Robert E. Howard in a letter to a friend circa Decmber 1932
"There is no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist!" |
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Cycle Mac daddy
Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 2767
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:12 pm Post subject: |
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Shapermc wrote: | Sigma Star Saga. |
Weren't you trying to trade this game with me a couple weeks back? You never mentioned anything about it being the worst game ever back then! TRUST DOWN _________________
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Ethoscapade .
Joined: 30 Oct 2005 Posts: 276
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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Shapermc wrote: | Wind Waker? |
probably buying phantom hourglass itt solely to "apologize" to wind waker's beautiful, beautiful aesthetic (what with my selling the game without finishing it and all) despite not liking a zelda game since majora's mask. |
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Shapermc Hot Sake!
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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Cycle wrote: | Shapermc wrote: | Sigma Star Saga. |
Weren't you trying to trade this game with me a couple weeks back? You never mentioned anything about it being the worst game ever back then! TRUST DOWN |
Yes, but I had said in other places that it was pretty much the worst game ever. I mean, if you're ever going to try the game it should be in a trade setting.
right? _________________ “The average man has a secret desire to be a swaggering, drunken, fighting, raping swashbuckler.”
-Robert E. Howard in a letter to a friend circa Decmber 1932
"There is no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist!" |
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Nana Komatsu weak sauce
Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Posts: 1293
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:47 pm Post subject: |
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Ethoscapade wrote: | Shapermc wrote: | Wind Waker? |
probably buying phantom hourglass itt solely to "apologize" to wind waker's beautiful, beautiful aesthetic (what with my selling the game without finishing it and all) despite not liking a zelda game since majora's mask. |
Phantom Hourglass should be worth it for hte multiplayer alone, assuming you have folks to play with and there's no WFC. _________________ resetbutton.net: videogames for unattractive people |
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ApM Admin Rockstar
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 1210 Location: Ottawa, ON
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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Hopkins FBI? |
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Cycle Mac daddy
Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 2767
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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That sounds like a game I need to play for myself. Without paying for it, I mean. _________________
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dessgeega loves your favorite videogame
Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 6563 Location: bohan
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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this makes me wish games journalists could actually write satire. or at least that writing doesn't need to be overstated and bursting with superlatives. when the author actually manages to describe it, the game sounds absurd enough that the humor should be self-evident.
EDIT: it gets a point for using the phrase "woman in refrigerator" though.
it sort of makes me want to replay matt barringer's detective. _________________
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Cycle Mac daddy
Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 2767
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I also get really bugged when a game review really goes out it's way to convince you just how CRAZY AND NUTTY a game is. I find it very patronising! Like most games journalism, actually. _________________
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dessgeega loves your favorite videogame
Joined: 16 Jun 2005 Posts: 6563 Location: bohan
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:24 pm Post subject: |
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actually i think it would be a good exercize to compare that story on hopkins fbi to this review of detective (specifically, the second one by graeme cree). _________________
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FortNinety Pheonix Wright
Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Posts: 250 Location: NY, NY
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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Shapermc wrote: | Wind Waker? |
I sorta feel like I have to have at least one Nintendo game, and Wind Waker might be it.
I could be a total wise as and say Super Mario Bros, but that would be dumb, even for me. |
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FortNinety Pheonix Wright
Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Posts: 250 Location: NY, NY
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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:52 pm Post subject: |
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Okay... this will be the last I will ask for anything, at least regarding this particular subject... I hate to give too much further away, but both Final Fantasy 7 and Kingdom Hearts 2 are on the list... and rather high up there. I guess its not good form to admit that I'm not that familiar with the each game... I have played them both, for more than twenty seconds, but have not beat either one.
So what I need is help with the A/V side of things... what vids on YouTube would be good in helping to flesh out my anti- argument? Prime examples of something ridiculous. For FFVII I have the death of that one chick, but I could use something else... Along with other reasons why both are bad games, if one feels that way. To compare my notes. |
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Swimmy .
Joined: 16 Sep 2005 Posts: 990 Location: Fairfax, VA
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:28 am Post subject: |
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See, a looooot of people think Aerith's death is actually really emotional. Or something.
There are lots of things you can use. The ridiculous ending is easy to find. The terribly arranged orchestral music that plays during the final battle is oft-used in anime videos and performed by orchestras and whatnot. It's called "One Winged Angel." Listen and laugh.
Oh hey, this is perfect, someone's compiled all the terrible cutscenes to accompany that music! It's like a monument of suck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sUfx_v0ttg
Your list should include at least one Wisdom Tree game. _________________
"Ayn Rand fans are the old school version of Xenogears fanboys."
-seryogin |
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The Great Unwashed .
Joined: 27 May 2006 Posts: 359 Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:37 am Post subject: |
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Worst game I've played in recent memory would have to be Star Wars: Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike. The on-foot levels were so appalling that I turned the game off and took it back.
And just to be contentious, the totally uninspiring Zelda: Twilight Princess.*
*Yeah, yeah, I know _________________
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simplicio .
Joined: 03 May 2005 Posts: 1091
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:21 am Post subject: |
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You know, my mind keeps coming back to Starfox Adventures. Back when I first got a gamecube, I remember browsing around IGN (didn't know any better at the time, as I'd been out of gaming for several years at that point) and seeing it rated a 9 point something. I remember they said it was the type of game you might show non-gamers to let them know how incredible modern-day gaming looked.
I try to imagine convincing my relatives of the worth of gaming through the interactions of staff-wielding anthropomorphic foxmen (and a foxlady!) and dinosaurs. Hoo boy.
I mean, Mario 2 US at least had the sense to attach itself to a totally psychedelic, turnip throwing, doorway to the night-dimension type of unrelated game that was still vaguely similar in mechanics and retained a teensy bit of plausability. Starfox Adventures makes about as much relative sense as replacing the ship in R-Type with a fire flower Mario sprite and calling it Mario Zero.
Except not as awesome as that sounds. |
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Dracko .
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 2613
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:36 am Post subject: |
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Swimmy wrote: | See, a looooot of people think Aerith's death is actually really emotional. Or something. |
A lot of people need to get out of the house. _________________ "This is the most fun I've ever had without being drenched in the blood of my enemies!" |
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helicopterp .
Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 1435 Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:28 am Post subject: |
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simplicio wrote: | replacing the ship in R-Type with a fire flower Mario sprite and calling it Mario Zero.
Except not as awesome as that sounds. |
Simplicio, sometimes you are wonderful. _________________ Like you thought you'd seen copter perverts before. They were nothing compared to this one. |
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Shapermc Hot Sake!
Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279
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Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 8:31 am Post subject: |
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FortNinety wrote: | Okay... this will be the last I will ask for anything, at least regarding this particular subject... I hate to give too much further away, but both Final Fantasy 7 and Kingdom Hearts 2 are on the list... and rather high up there. I guess its not good form to admit that I'm not that familiar with the each game... I have played them both, for more than twenty seconds, but have not beat either one. |
Jeremy Parish does an awesome job of summing up all that is wrong with FFVII. Unfortunatly it's not a video.
Also, for as bad as Kingdom Hearts 2 may be, I have a feeling KH1 is worse. If for nothing more than the fact that it makes the second game a viable option. I am going to link you to a really old article I wrote on the game and re-reading it makes me a little ashamed of it. I can only rebutt with the fact that it's nearly five years old now.
Reading those should get you caught up enough with the main problems of the games. _________________ “The average man has a secret desire to be a swaggering, drunken, fighting, raping swashbuckler.”
-Robert E. Howard in a letter to a friend circa Decmber 1932
"There is no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist!" |
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Redeye .
Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 986 Location: filth
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 1:03 am Post subject: |
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Neverwinter Nights 2 Official Campaign is looking pretty bad.
The dialogue is at the Scooby Doo level. It's like playing an After School Special.
Hasbro owns D&D
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Like D&D and Hasbro were playing Counterstrike and Hasbro knifed D&D from behind. *owned*!
Owned indeed.
No death animations. No corpses. (Not really).
Bloodless.
No evil except "stupid evil".
Completely railroaded.
I was hoping for Fallout/Planescape and got some Disneyland tripe instead.
When the toolset and many other things are finally fixed, I have no doubt there will be a flood of "Slay The Cute Ewfies" modules.
It's not like Hasbro did the wrong thing.
They did the right thing, businesswise.
Imagine if NWN2 had the Fallout death animations and moral freedom.
M rating at the least.
Planescape: Torment dialogue?
Yeah right.
Damn. Fifty bucks down the toilet.
Until those modules come trickling in. _________________ I felt sheer anarchic joy when I ran over my first pedestrian. |
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Nana Komatsu weak sauce
Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Posts: 1293
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dhex Breeder
Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 6319 Location: brooklyn, Nev Yiork
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 8:01 am Post subject: |
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obligatory "what the hell anime/japan/etc?" response. _________________
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Redeye .
Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 986 Location: filth
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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dhex wrote: | obligatory "what the hell anime/japan/etc?" response. |
I think its Glorfindel doing a Vlad impression. _________________ I felt sheer anarchic joy when I ran over my first pedestrian. |
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FortNinety Pheonix Wright
Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Posts: 250 Location: NY, NY
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:43 pm Post subject: |
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Well since this thread was recently revived, I guess it wouldn't hurt to pass the following along, at least for those here who might have missed it...
Steve Totilo's take on my finali top ten list |
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