The Gamer's Quarter

FortNinety

... I made this topic over at SelectButton. And also, a list thread (I forget what the stance on them is around here). But first, time for a personal plug:

As some folks know, ICON, the northeast's biggest fantasy and science fiction (and science fact) convention, which takes places in Stony Brook, Long Island, New York, takes place this upcoming weekend, and once again, I will be a guest on the behalf of the electronic gaming program. I'll be participating at the following panels...

Videogames as an Art Form
Indy Game Development
Ratings and Censorship in Modern Media
Video Game Journalism
NextGen Consoles: Where do we go next?
To 3D or Not to 3D
Nintendo's Interface Revolution
Flamewars and Trolls

I might also be part of the Girl Gamers discussion, simply because my girlfriend doesn't want to be up there all my herself.

In addition to the aforementioned topics, I'm also going to get a full hour to talk about whatever. Last year I did the ten best games of all time, with the definite highlight being when I asked the audience for their favorite and/or the best, and all the booes I got when I would shoot down certain selections (as well as omitting fan faves in my list). Hence why year I'm doing the ten WORST games of all time, but instead of bashing games that everyone can agree is shit (I'm even going to mention a few that everything THINKS is bad, but really isn't, such as E.T. for the 2600), I kinda want to elicit even more venom from the audience by poking fun at ones that has its dedicated fans but, at its core, is really crappy. That's where you, the fine folks at Select Button come in.... after-all, everyone here hates everything that's popular! And often for good reason!

I know its a very NeoGAF-ish question (hence why I've also asked over there as well!) but as I assemble my own list, I'd like to hear what the folks around here believe to be the worst games of all time. You folks know my criteria, but I still want to hear what you honestly think it bad, regardless of how much love it gets, and exact reasons why.

Also, if anyone wants me to mention any good recent threads/anecdotes from at the Axe for the Flamewars and Trolls panel, it would also be very much appreciated.

dhex · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:47 am Post subject:

grandia II - final fantasy x is tedious, but granda 2 is the god of hate.

fort, guess what? i have to go to a wedding this weekend so i wouldn't have been able to go to icon regardless of the rest of my shit.
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FortNinety · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 11:36 am Post subject:

Damn... there's always next year I guess.

BTW, I just found out that Costikyan is a lock for the show as well. So along with myself, Greg, and David Gilbert, much fun will be had. Though I have to wonder whoes side they will take when I start slinging mud at Final Fantasy fans and furries.

wourme · . Joined: 01 Jul 2005 Posts: 362 Location: Maridia

I don't think it has any fans, but the first thing that comes to my mind is the home version of Hologram Time Traveler--the one that plays on any DVD player, insofar as you can play it at all.

I can think of plenty of popular games that I don't like in the least, but none that I'd consign to a list of worst games ever.

E.T. was one of my favorite 2600 games. I didn't learn that I wasn't supposed to like it until many years later. I've had that experience with some other games as well.

Nana Komatsu · weak sauce Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Posts: 1293

Rumble Roses
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helicopterp · . Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 1435 Location: Philadelphia

Jet Force Gemini
any of the portable Castlevania games
Yoshi's Island 2

I hate all those games way more than is necessary.
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Shapermc · Hot Sake! Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279

Sigma Star Saga.
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“The average man has a secret desire to be a swaggering, drunken, fighting, raping swashbuckler.”
-Robert E. Howard in a letter to a friend circa Decmber 1932

"There is no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist!"

Winged Assassins (1984) · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:53 pm Post subject:

Anything with unnecessary backtracking.
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Shapermc · Hot Sake! Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279

Wind Waker?
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“The average man has a secret desire to be a swaggering, drunken, fighting, raping swashbuckler.”
-Robert E. Howard in a letter to a friend circa Decmber 1932

"There is no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist!"

Cycle · Mac daddy Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 2767

Ethoscapade · . Joined: 30 Oct 2005 Posts: 276

Shapermc · Hot Sake! Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279

Nana Komatsu · weak sauce Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Posts: 1293

ApM · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:18 pm Post subject:

Hopkins FBI?

Cycle · Mac daddy Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 2767

That sounds like a game I need to play for myself. Without paying for it, I mean.
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dessgeega · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:53 pm Post subject:

Cycle · Mac daddy Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 2767

Yeah, I also get really bugged when a game review really goes out it's way to convince you just how CRAZY AND NUTTY a game is. I find it very patronising! Like most games journalism, actually.
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dessgeega · Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:24 pm Post subject:

actually i think it would be a good exercize to compare that story on hopkins fbi to this review of detective (specifically, the second one by graeme cree).
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FortNinety · Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:21 pm Post subject:

FortNinety · Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:52 pm Post subject:

Okay... this will be the last I will ask for anything, at least regarding this particular subject... I hate to give too much further away, but both Final Fantasy 7 and Kingdom Hearts 2 are on the list... and rather high up there. I guess its not good form to admit that I'm not that familiar with the each game... I have played them both, for more than twenty seconds, but have not beat either one.

So what I need is help with the A/V side of things... what vids on YouTube would be good in helping to flesh out my anti- argument? Prime examples of something ridiculous. For FFVII I have the death of that one chick, but I could use something else... Along with other reasons why both are bad games, if one feels that way. To compare my notes.

Swimmy · . Joined: 16 Sep 2005 Posts: 990 Location: Fairfax, VA

See, a looooot of people think Aerith's death is actually really emotional. Or something.

There are lots of things you can use. The ridiculous ending is easy to find. The terribly arranged orchestral music that plays during the final battle is oft-used in anime videos and performed by orchestras and whatnot. It's called "One Winged Angel." Listen and laugh.

Oh hey, this is perfect, someone's compiled all the terrible cutscenes to accompany that music! It's like a monument of suck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sUfx_v0ttg

Your list should include at least one Wisdom Tree game.
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The Great Unwashed · Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:37 am Post subject:

Worst game I've played in recent memory would have to be Star Wars: Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike. The on-foot levels were so appalling that I turned the game off and took it back.

And just to be contentious, the totally uninspiring Zelda: Twilight Princess.*

*Yeah, yeah, I know
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simplicio · . Joined: 03 May 2005 Posts: 1091

You know, my mind keeps coming back to Starfox Adventures. Back when I first got a gamecube, I remember browsing around IGN (didn't know any better at the time, as I'd been out of gaming for several years at that point) and seeing it rated a 9 point something. I remember they said it was the type of game you might show non-gamers to let them know how incredible modern-day gaming looked.

I try to imagine convincing my relatives of the worth of gaming through the interactions of staff-wielding anthropomorphic foxmen (and a foxlady!) and dinosaurs. Hoo boy.

I mean, Mario 2 US at least had the sense to attach itself to a totally psychedelic, turnip throwing, doorway to the night-dimension type of unrelated game that was still vaguely similar in mechanics and retained a teensy bit of plausability. Starfox Adventures makes about as much relative sense as replacing the ship in R-Type with a fire flower Mario sprite and calling it Mario Zero.

Except not as awesome as that sounds.

Dracko · . Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 2613

helicopterp · . Joined: 13 May 2006 Posts: 1435 Location: Philadelphia

Shapermc · Hot Sake! Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 6279

Redeye · . Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 986 Location: filth

Neverwinter Nights 2 Official Campaign is looking pretty bad.

The dialogue is at the Scooby Doo level. It's like playing an After School Special.

Hasbro owns D&D
.
Like D&D and Hasbro were playing Counterstrike and Hasbro knifed D&D from behind. *owned*!

Owned indeed.

No death animations. No corpses. (Not really).

Bloodless.

No evil except "stupid evil".

Completely railroaded.

I was hoping for Fallout/Planescape and got some Disneyland tripe instead.

When the toolset and many other things are finally fixed, I have no doubt there will be a flood of "Slay The Cute Ewfies" modules.

It's not like Hasbro did the wrong thing.

They did the right thing, businesswise.

Imagine if NWN2 had the Fallout death animations and moral freedom. Very Happy

M rating at the least.
Planescape: Torment dialogue?
Yeah right.

Damn. Fifty bucks down the toilet.

Until those modules come trickling in.
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Nana Komatsu · weak sauce Joined: 17 Jul 2006 Posts: 1293

This image seems relevant.
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dhex · Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 8:01 am Post subject:

obligatory "what the hell anime/japan/etc?" response.
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Redeye · . Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 986 Location: filth

FortNinety · Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:43 pm Post subject:

Well since this thread was recently revived, I guess it wouldn't hurt to pass the following along, at least for those here who might have missed it...

Steve Totilo's take on my finali top ten list