The Gamer's Quarter

[Mister Toups]

When life gives you aids, make LEMONaids!
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where were you when nana komatsu got a wii?

[Mister Toups]

seriously though, yeah. dess has a point. rape is the sort of thing where, you know, if you or someone close to you has experienced it, it's sort of hard (if not impossible) to find funny.

this doesn't mean that it should be off-limits for satire but you shouldn't be surprised that you're stepping on people's toes by including it.
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where were you when nana komatsu got a wii?

[dhex]

[Nana Komatsu]

A guy walks into a talent agent and says, "I have the best act that you're looking for," (stop me if you've heard this one).

The talent agent leans back in his chair and says "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"It's a magic act and we use members of the audience too. You're gonna love it!"

The man opens the door and ushers in his wife and daughter.

"My wife here will be my assistant, and if we could have a volunteer from the audience? You ma'am." he says as he points to his daughter. The daughter steps up and he says "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a rape victim counselor"

"Oh, I see. That's very important, you know. Have to help those people who have been victimized. Now then if you'll step into this box and lie down."

The daughter gets into the box and lies down so that her head is sticking out one end and her feet out of the other. The magician takes out a very long saw and starts sawing the box in half until the half with her head is separated from the half with her feet.

"How do you feel?" asks the magician.

"Okay, it didn't hurt or anything."

"It'll hurt now, bitch!" he says as he opens the lower half of the box shoves his dick up her pussy.

"What are you doing? Stop that! Please no!"

"Gonna need some counseling now, aren't you slut!" he says as he works his cock into his daughter fast and hard. The daughter is on her period and so she starts gushing blood out onto the guy's body and on the floor.

"Oh god, please stop this daddy!"

"I'm sure you're enjoying this, bitch! All women want to be raped, and you know it."

The daughter passes out from the shock as the magician pulls out and walks to the talent agent's desk.

"Tada!"

"That's one hell of an act, what do you people call it?"

"We call this one, The Gamer's Quarter!"

The talent agent pauses for a minute.

"I already have an act like that."
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resetbutton.net: videogames for unattractive people

[Mister Toups]

Okay I admit, I LOLed.
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where were you when nana komatsu got a wii?

[Redeye]

Back to what, after an earlier digression, appears to be a valid interpretation of the topic:

How about a Huckleberry Finn game?
Bully 2 : Tom Sawyer?

Chicken "borrowing" minigames and con artist dialogue trees, oh my.
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I felt sheer anarchic joy when I ran over my first pedestrian.

[dhex]

i'd play that.

i'd also like to see a game based on death on the installment plan.

[Dracko]

[Harveyjames]

Yeah, I should add that one of the women who found it offensive was my own sister. Who has experienced rape. But she also says Jesus was sitting at the foot of her bed and touched her and all of his magic love went into her body. Also, once she saw a UFO.

I think it's a ok topic for humour because all topics are. If you're going to make one thing off limits for comedy then everything's off-limits. There's no middle ground. But the point people seem to be missing is that I wasn't making a joke about rape. Like I said, the article pokes fun at men's misconceptions about women.

Dess: I should add that when I made that magazine I was 16. But since you asked for it...

Did you hear that all the alligators in Florida are dying?

They have Gator-AIDS!

[Swimmy]

[Mister Toups]

[The Soviet Onion]

I think there's a difference here between finding something to be in poor taste and failing to recognise it as satire in the first place.

[Harveyjames]

[Mister Toups]

[Harveyjames]

I think people should have known what they were in for when they picked up the magazine. It's not Woman's Weekly. You can make whatever jokes you want to make in your own fanzine, and it's not like my comedy is dumb, irresponsible or based around any kind of repugnant belief system. It's all justified by the context.

I don't think I'd have made that kind of joke anywhere outside of that kind of edgy, self-published d.i.y. magazine. Really, getting upset at something someone writes in one of those is like reading 'FUCK YOU' on a toilet wall and then saying 'w-what?? Fuck ME??? How dare they!'

[dessgeega]

[Harveyjames]

You'll have to provide examples of your working out, there!

Try to include the fact that you haven't even read the article in question!

[Cycle]

I don't need to read shit, I can smell it!

OH SNAP.
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[dhex]

[Harveyjames]

*sigh*

Hey Cycle your remark doesn't bear any relevance to the discussion, since it's not the quality of the article (which I wrote when I was 16 etc etc) that's under dispute.

dhex + dessgeega: Implying that I am sexist is a big fucking joke. HA HA. I was raised by one mother and four sisters (and no real father figure to speak of); all of them strong and exemplary women. You may have noticed from an offhand remark I made above that one of those sisters is mentally ill, but despite the flippant nature of the remark this doesn't mean I don't love and respect her. For me to have grown up in these circumstances and to harbour the views on women you seem to think I do makes my dick laugh.

[dhex]

no dude women bleed out their areas once a month unless they've got endomitriosis or are very old.

monthly. get it? once a month.

monthly.

i mean, i don't give a fuck if you're sexist or not. just don't hit girls. which is pretty sexist, btw, but i've never hit a woman. i wonder if its fun. anyway, you shouldn't hit them. and you should hold the doors open. most importantly, always ask twice, even if you're just chowing box, ESPECIALLY if they've been drinking. you don't have to be a total dweeb about it, but be careful.

that's all i know about women.

edit: to be fair, we all do dumb things when we're 16. i was in model congress and proposed a bill to have people with aids tattooed so everyone would know their status before they had sex with them. fer reals.
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[Harveyjames]

[dhex]

being young and stupid isn't a context. it's a condition. not often fatal.

[Harveyjames]

I didn't mean the context of youth and stupidity, I meant the context of the article.

[dhex]

doubtful.
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[TOLLMASTER]

Viewing this topic with Nana's magical image changer thing has been an interesting experience, I must say.

[Dracko]

[Harveyjames]

[dessgeega]

was that another one of your hilarious jokes, harvey j?
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[Harveyjames]

Yes it was.

Now you guys are all out of ammunition, you should next realise what this silly arguement is about: fuck all, and what I have done wrong: nothing, and we can all carry on as before. K? K.

[helicopterp]

I'm not going to get into the rape conversation, but I would like to say that there certainly are things that shouldn't be made into jokes.

An example is Raising Canes Chicken Finger restaurant. I bet you Louisianans know what I'm talking about.

They opened a Raising Canes here in Athens in August. It is maybe three hundred yards from my apartment. My roommate and I, curious, went. We were greeted with a fast food menu that included all of four entrees, each of which were variations on the number of chicken fingers you got. There was a four-piecer, a six-piecer, a three-piecer, or a three-piecer on a bun. That's it. Just different numbers of chicken fingers. Oh, and for a side, you could order a 32oz cup of Canes' Sauce for about four dollars.

We ordered, received our chicken, and took it home to eat. The prices were pretty steep, and the fingers were pretty small. The chicken was, emphatically, not delicious.

The drive-thru is open until 3am. When I'm trying to sleep, I can hear with remarkable clarity the crackling voice issuing from the drive-thru speaker.

Raising Canes is a terrible, terrible restaurant. My roommate often tries to joke about going there again. I give him the deadest, coldest stare I can muster every time. Raising Canes is just not funny in any context.
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Like you thought you'd seen copter perverts before. They were nothing compared to this one.

[internisus]

Do any of you actually remember what this thread was about?

[dhex]

yeah, that les mis project from that mentally ill game designer/monomaniac.

the final verdict being "sort of real, maybe, we guess, even though dude's clearly off his meds."

at face value the idea is kind of neat...but when i think about actually playing les mis...fuck.
i can't even begin to imagine how tedious it would be, and i've been addicted to dungeon crawl.

games are about killing things - preferably in slow motion with cool sound effects - and learning to move beyond the attachment to life and loss. video games are a buddhist fourth column sent to us by deep cover illuminati operatives to disguise the undying truth of the temporality of mortal flesh in a torrent of vulgarity and pretty colors.

of course, others differ on this point, for reasons of their own.
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[Dracko]

[dhex]

it'd be different if it were a guillotine sim.

actually, that would be a neat idea. or maybe i'm just hung up on monolithically obvious parables about illiberal governance and the madness of crowds. (or both!)

but can you imagine? you'd have to swap blades, clean up corpses, figure out the order of killing (kids first, patriarch last, of course) etc.

call it THERMIDOR MATADOR and put it on the ds.
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[helicopterp]

Thermidor Matador is the best thing I've read all day and is much funnier than chicken fingers.
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Like you thought you'd seen copter perverts before. They were nothing compared to this one.

[Redeye]

[dmauro]