The Gamer's Quarter

[dessgeega]

we had a dos shareware thread a little while ago.
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[ryan]

[jjsimpso]

[sediment]

I was totally fucking pumped for Iron + Blood when it was first announced, and at the initial screens I was super-excited...

and then more and more progress shots came around and what initially seemed like an exciting and innovative D&D style game in the mien of the Capcom arcade games turned into poopoo doodoo. Happens way too often, I guess.

I heard they had to tune down everything they wanted to do for it because they were releasing it on PC and PSX. Originally it was to be DOS-only.
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[Cycle]

The only fighting game I was ever interested in on the PC was METAL & LACE: BATTLE OF THE ROBOBABES because the chicks got naked after you defeated them.

I remember all the reviews tearing Iron & Blood apart.

So I looked up HELLBENDER on Youtube, which looks like Terminal Velocity with an engine that supports 3D accelators, but the draw distance is still the same. It stars GILLIAN ANDERSON as the computer! The tunnel bits pretty much got turned into Descent (crossed with Wolfenstein... all the tunnel areas are on a 2D plane so it doesn't get as confusing as Descent) and it has BUTTON SWITCHING which pretty much turned me off completely. Still, apparently it works in Vista, so I wouldn't mind tracking down a pirate copy and giving it a go. Video of the first level:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcoOzCqApq4
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[Winged Assassins (1984)]

Breakfree
First-person Breakout that is exactly as it sounds. The act of "breaking free" more literal than metaphor. If you ever enjoyed the act of hitting your face against balls (this is not a double entendre) this is the game for you.

Micro Machines 2
Fun distilled. The de facto argument solving game, I remember the version that was on the Mega Drive because it was one of those brill J-Cart things with the controller ports built into the cart so you wouldn't need a multitap. You'd better believe that this game has aged well. i also remember not wanting to hang out with anyone who beat me for at least a week such is how heavily competitive games affected youth.



Need For Speed
Oh the humble beginnings of the franchise. The 3D graphics are some primitive shit but it runs real slick and actually starts looking better the longer you play. Happy experience all round.

Primal Rage
The intro has really good art but it's Primal Rage, the novelty of DINOSAURS FIGHTING! wears off real quick and you're left with a game that isn't as good as Mortal Kombat 3. But hell if I didn't want to possess this game like fuck when I was a wee lad. Amusingly, it has a "No animals were harmed in the making of this game" message on all the demos.

Psycho Pinball
The first pinball game that can hold a candle to EPIC Pinball and officially has the best replicated LCD graphics of any pinball game ever. The table looks really nice as well though it is hella crowded. The main draw of the game was that you could find minigames that feature the games ant eater mascot hidden in the tables which I couldn't find in the demo. I guess that makes me shit unless they weren't added. Good ball physics to boot. EPIC Pinball wins out in the end because of nostalgia.


Fuzzy's World of Miniature Space Golf
Intergalactic minigolf that is not out of this world but rather in your computer screen. Quite catchy title screen music, lots of space-style colours make it pleasing to sit in front of. I could see myself enjoying more of this but there is only room in my heart for one minigolf game so there can only be NO-VACANCY signs for Fuzzy. An A for effort then.

Linewars II
That would be one of those space games which I can never be arsed to properly figure out. Lack of lines warring scares me.

Raptor
Used to be a choice game but now I look back on its lifebars and laugh. Sequel Demonstar much better to play but less of a game content-wise.

Tyrian
I can't for the life of me decide whether this or Raptor was the better game, they came out close enough that you could fight them against each other. I'd be more inclined to play Tyrian but only for the Zanac thinspiration. Oh, and EPIC. Maybe we need an EPIC Megagames Thunder Bunker spinoff thread to cut down on the amount of times I keep bringing them up in here.

Teen Agent
Obscure as all hell and forgotten as fuck, Teenagent was one of those adventure games that just drowned in a sea of other software. Eye burning colour and very light humour make Teenagent a better way to pass time on the loo.
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[ApM]

I was totally going to bring up Micro Machines. My brother and I sunk a shitload of time on the demo. The four tracks just did not get repetitive.

Also, fuck you, now I have Teen Agent's stupid, repetitive music in my head. I had the full version, somehow, at one point, and remember the game being much better than I thought it would be.

[Cycle]

I played the hell out of Breakfree on my parents friends computer because it was the closest thing they had to a first person shooter. I had fun with it!

I never got into micro machines. I couldn't control the damn things. I always fell off tables. I wanted to love the game, since I loved micro machines as a child.

The original Need For Speed was only cool for the highway levels when traffic is coming the other way, and also featuring the statue of liberty as see in Planet of the Apes. Really though, it's a harmless arcade racer, it's fun but not up there with actual arcade games. Best we had for home systems for sometime, though.

Primal Rage is probably my favourite novelty fighting game. Stop motion AND dinosaurs. I remember the arcade version looking AMAZING.

I need to get a copy of Epic Pinball already. Sure it can't be that hard to find. Dess started a sort of EPIC thread already... let me find it...

http://www.gamersquarter.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1742

Remember when places like Cunninghams Warehouse carried those big shareware CDs? I sat Fuzzy Miniature Space Golf on the cover of one of them. I wanted to play it so badly, but I never did I also remember seeing a Hugo game on the cover of one, which amazed me because I thought I played all of them.

I liked Raptor because you could upgrade your ship! I wasn't interested in scores back in those days, so I liked being rewarded with cash instead. These days I'm not so hot for this mechanic. The game is hilariously slow paced these days. I actually never played Tyrian when I was a kid, never even heard of it until I became friends with these dudes in High School. Someone tell me more about it.
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[Dracko]

I have a pinball collection game somewhere in my attic. Let me see if I can dig it up...
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"This is the most fun I've ever had without being drenched in the blood of my enemies!"

[extrabastardformula]

Guys I am having no clue how to get dosbox working on my machine. It doesn't treat my keyboard right. It doesn't recognize right shift or = at all and it reads backslash as right bracket. I can't mount anything without being able to use backslash! Did anyone else have these problems?
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[ryan]

Oh yeah, definitely, I was only able to get one or two games working in DOSBox, but I spent a lot of time getting them to work properly. I never looked into it, but there might be some downloadable profiles to ease things along.
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Come to me, Mordel. We shall depart.

[Winged Assassins (1984)]

Vinyl Goddess From Mars
This one should be right up dessgeega's alley. It's very much Jill Of The Jungle only with some red leather broad in the lead role. Oh hey, MobyGames has the working title as "Jill Of the Jungle 2". I don't think it's as good, not being an EPIC game has cut the hair off this Samson of a platformer and replaced its mythical strength with meh. At least you can look at her bum when climbing ladders I give this game two cheeks out of some arbitrary number, because that's how things fly in my reality.

Virtual Pool
I used to play this for hours on end and I could easily fall back into that if I wasn't forcing myself to only play each demo once then delete it. It's the only pool simulator I could ever see myself playing because it's just fun and I am a sucker for flat-shaded polygons. Much jollification (word of the day) to be had here folks.

Wacky Wheels
Mario Kat with zoo animals though obviously not as good as Mario Kart. But in a way it's better because you can be a shark! It's kilometers better than that fucking Skunny Cart shit but that's not a real hard achievement to grasp. Apogee means action, I believe that statement.

Warcraft
Does anyone not know what Warcraft is. I'm not talking about World Of Warcraft, all the kids are on about that these days, I'm talking about proper Warcraft where you send your cats off to fight some real squares and build things to make more cats to go and kill more squares. Such a lovely subject to base a game on. The only bad thing about the game is Warcraft 2 because that came along and obsoleted it in less time than it took to install.

Warriors
I think we have a new contender for most obscure fighting game ever made. MobyGames doesn't even have an entry for it. The animation is very good but the models are primitive as shit. There doesn't seem to be any special moves and you can beat your opponent by doing the same two moves over and over again. No wonder it's obscure. Demo totally fucked up the sound on exiting in a way that made it sound like the coolest nosiecore I have ever heard.

X-Com: Terror From The Deep
I assume you all know what X-Com is. UFO Defense seemed more fun because I could actually go longer than ten minutes without getting killed by arseholes from space. I just love the underwater setting though, it's just so calming it almost makes me forget about those arseholes and their deadly rayguns or whatever the hell aliens from under the sea, possibly Atlantis, use as guns. I heard some great things about the one that came after this, X-Com: Apocalypse but I don't know if I have a demo for that or not. Someone else talk about that maybe Cycle because he seems to have his finger on the pulse of hot computing games.


Good golly gosh, that CD is done with. I wonder what else I can scrounge up.
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[ryan]

[Cycle]

Vinyl Goddess From Mars - Yeah, apparently this was supposed to be a sequel to Jill, but EPIC didn't like the game (it was made by someone else) and went for Jazz Jackrabbit instead. Good choice! I remember this game being alright, though.

Virtual Pool - was awesome, I played this all the time. I actually need to get another pool game to improve my real life skillz... any suggestions? Flat shaded polygons is where it's at, btw.

Wacky Wheels was rad! Skunny Kart actually used the same code, which was accidently sent to Copysoft and so they went ahead and used it and released Skunny first. Assholes! I wish there was an apogee brochure like the EPIC one around, but I can't find one via google.

Warcraft - I remember playing this one after the second and being unable to get over this ROADS crap.

Terror from the Deep was way too hard, but the undersea setting was pretty great. I haven't played Apocalypse! I hear it's not too shabby, though.
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[Bulkor]

X-com Apocalypse was reasonably fun, but squad-based tactical stuff was sort of hard to do right in real time. It also had some really, really hideous art direction.

There are people out there using the data files from the UFO games to make some kind of multiplayer tactics game, but I haven't played it.

[Harveyjames]

I've always thought the X-Com games looked amazing, and I loved Lazer Squad back in the day, but I've never been able to play the games for one reason or another. Maybe it's time I did!

[Winged Assassins (1984)]

Harveyjimjams you should remedy this current situation of yours and just play UFO Defense already.
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